Couch Potatoes

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A  r ecent research has shown that many young people worldwide are opting for internet-related jobs. This includes jobs like influencing, digital marketing, or remote jobs. They argued this generation is lazy and would rather spend a whole day surfing on the internet than working. This research must have been carried out by African parents, who think the internet is a waste of time, part of which is true even though the internet has not failed to prove itself useful. Parents are mad because this is that one thing, they have failed to control. They are jealous our life is much better and full of fun compared to their 80s. They seem to not accept that you can learn about what is happening in Iran without watching Aljazeera. Have you tried watching world Today? You will get depressed; all they talk about is which western country should host Afghan immigrants. Sharing people like a bunch of bananas. Imagine listening to that for two hours, sick. This is why the youth pref...
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Tindering for Valentines dates

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Valentines is finally here, the pressure to have a date is so palpable, I found myself on tinder. Yes, a dating site not to look for a date but this content, I would not mind a hook up anyway.

 So, you individuals have been on tinder and nobody talks about it. I came across countless familiar faces, why shy from using a dating site? We are in the 21st century for Christ sake, it is okay!

Hey there heartbreaker! Tinder’s welcoming message, must be a disclaimer for heartbreaks awaiting you!  And they already know what you are, geniuses.

The rate at which you get likes after posting is shocking, in less than thirty minutes I had established 100 likes from I don’t know who, unfortunately, I couldn’t tell since I didn’t pay for my subscription. Uh! shocked. Souls out here are paying to be loved!

What interested me are the bios, everybody trying to be and remain relevant. Tinder will tell you how your bio is so vital to not be left blank, how it should be a one-of-a-kind ice breaker. How you should ditch your glasses so everyone can see that pretty face, this tinder guys can sell a lot their convincing language so good.

Some of your bio read, my weed is better than yours, curious at find out personality, you wont simply regret, biker lover girls swipe left, you might want to swipe right just to mention a few …you are really trying to sell yourself, try to do better.

You are wondering what’s in my bio, well, don’t, it was removed two hours later claimed it violated policies of promotion and solicitation, I have no idea what that is but am sure it’s a broken tinder law, the saddest part is that I don’t remember what I wrote.

The matching criteria left me wondering how they do it, why don’t you match with everyone, swapping and you have to decide who you match with, I did that for almost the whole day and couldn’t find a single soul, they hit me with out of matches for you, want to go globally! Huh, why not I told myself!

If it’s a match they keep telling you how its not wrong to text first, how it is your move just make it, how you should ask to get a conversation; I did tell you how convincing the guy or whoever behind the app is. Are your hands tied or something? The app will ask you and shamelessly you type ‘hi’ and there goes your first heartbreak!  

 I rejected all my matches and thought maybe I wrote the wrong bio; they say you attract what you are; I decided to change it to read a very serious woman who does not entertain jokers and is Godly who knows nothing but Bible scriptures guess what my first suggestion was?

Nothing, only a tall shirtless boy with a very huge tattoo on the left shoulder and a headscarf on the head, if you have watched Gere song then you have an idea of the wrapped headscarf am talking about.

I concluded that whatever criteria they used to match me was wrong I continued swapping and swapping went globally swapped and swapped and there! they were out of matches for me. Poor me!

If you thinking of using the app, its good for maybe social networking, some are there for purely business stated bios while others like wasting time but heartbreaker that’s no place for partner searching especially if you looking for a lifetime soulmate, short termed ones are in plenty those fwbs as you call them.

Maybe your match is in there keep looking at your own risk, it’s not too late to get that valentine date, to at least spice your lonely self this valentine.

 In the meantime, they are getting my match from other planets because I didn’t get one from planet earth.

HEARTBREAKERS!

ADIOS

 

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