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Couch Potatoes

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A  r ecent research has shown that many young people worldwide are opting for internet-related jobs. This includes jobs like influencing, digital marketing, or remote jobs. They argued this generation is lazy and would rather spend a whole day surfing on the internet than working. This research must have been carried out by African parents, who think the internet is a waste of time, part of which is true even though the internet has not failed to prove itself useful. Parents are mad because this is that one thing, they have failed to control. They are jealous our life is much better and full of fun compared to their 80s. They seem to not accept that you can learn about what is happening in Iran without watching Aljazeera. Have you tried watching world Today? You will get depressed; all they talk about is which western country should host Afghan immigrants. Sharing people like a bunch of bananas. Imagine listening to that for two hours, sick. This is why the youth prefer T
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‘I POOPED TODAY’

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photocourtesy()   The secret to having a good Monday is pretending you do not know what day it is. My Monday was just like any other Monday, boring, slow until I saw a printed t-shirt and my day turned into a comical one. A lecture had just started. People were settling down carrying sits from one lecture hall to the other. A lady came to collect a chair from our room, she wore a pair of jeans, some white sneakers, and a baggy t-shirt with a large front print screaming ‘I POOPED TODAY’ . At first, I thought I had misread the word, I reread and there it was, in bold ‘ I POOPED TODAY’ , not even a blind person would have missed it. Yes, it was that audacious. The whole hall burst into laughter. Until that moment I had not witnessed something so disgusting yet so hilarious. That was a total violation of the dress code if there is any. That lady got traits to admire, her audacity is out of this world. There I was wondering how she finally convinced herself to wear that on
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Sweet lovebirds who look like they are on their honeymoon.

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Am back, I probably should not say that because I never informed you before I left, that just reminded me of those annoying status ‘am back’, come down Wanjiru, who sent you? Anyway, I had decided to take a temporary break, I kept telling myself I would be back after a week which turned into a month.  Don’t mind me I was diagnosed with procrastination. I know am not alone with this disease. Deadlines keep me on my toes. Sadly, there is no deadline here.  I have a lot to talk about, Taliban’s takeover in Afghan, not that I know anything about them, all I can tell is that USA is so humiliated by the heavy gun-carrying guys, with their turbans and sandak sandals. I will start with pressing issues, allow me to bitch about a couple that moved to a house next door. It has been three days and I already have mixed feelings about them, I will refrain from using the word hate because it is such a strong word. They are sweet lovebirds who look like they are on their honeymoon. Wak
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Carry it under your armpit...

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 I hate interviews, I know you do too, that is why you will keep reading. I chanced to attend one this week, the job required fifteen candidates but they shortlisted a whole bunch of forty penniless undergraduates, did I mention that it was supposed to be a one-day job. It was my first formal interview, not that I have not been to interviews, but the previous ones did not require much effort just dressing up well and forcing a smile, you bet I can do that effortlessly.  This one was different, and after facing the interviewing panel I realized I had underestimated the job for being a single-day task. On your interview day make sure you arrive early at the venue, what if they were looking for timekeepers or bell ringers (I know nobody is looking for bell ringers. It’s just a phrase I have used so pass. Out here your troubles keep you awake), and you know what they say about early birds, they catch the largest worms. Carry all your original documents, anything to prove that you
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In Fatuma’s house, you will wake up to Anjera/Injera...

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Happy feast (Eid Mubarak), so this is how good holidays feel on a weekday… we should have more of these. Thanks to the cold I am feeling old, I am on my tenth cup of tea, taking a lot of tea is a sign you are getting old.   It is not aging that I am afraid of, it is peeing. Do you know how many times old people wake up to pee at night?   I would hate anything to disturb my sleep. Holidays are for the working group, the rest of you every day is a holiday, count me out, or you don’t think writing is work, not that am complaining. If you want to give us a holiday, do it like the Muslims, they do not spend all their holidays in one month, see after Ramadhan they remember they will get tired of waking up and decided to spare one day, that was kind of them. Like the Christians, I think Christmas should not be followed by boxing day, it is a waste of holiday, you people receive no gifts, the day should be somewhere in January, at least people can take a break from the long month.
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The drama continues, not all women are Jaber

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PHOTO COURTESY() I would love to start off by asking how you have been but honestly, we do not care every man for himself.   As a nation we have been through enough trauma already, whatever state you are in is allowed, feel sad, moody, depressed, or even victorious like the UDA supporters in Kiambaa, am not into politics, leave it at that.   The hysteria caused by Caroline Kangogo was unnecessary, we were all afraid she would come after us even though many of us did not know her until recently, why would she even want to kill you? I blame it on the media, those people can really magnify issues did you see the headlines? They even had to bring Onyancha up to make it even scarier, ‘TWO SERIAL KILLERS ON THE LOOSE’. Every time our grandmothers see headlines like these, quickly they kneel for prayers, if by any chance your grandmother is Catholic like mine, she shouts ‘ MARIA’ to mean (mother of Jesus protect us) every time killers are mentioned and it works. Now that the killer
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Men need to be protected from women too

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  photocourtesy() When Nviiri the story teller sang ‘pombe na sigara anaweza achana nazo lakini wasichana haezi’ I think he was trying to pass a message but we all hyped to the song and failed to decipher the meaning. With the recent World  Rally Championship held in the now famous Naivasha, thanks to the Subaru boys for taking your girlfriends out, we cannot deny it is spectacular but also, we cannot forget how rusty and dusty the place is, should I remind you that they sell donkey meat. photo courtesy () Back to Nviiri’s story, between the men and women who needs to be protected from who? The storyteller clearly stated that he’d forego drugs for women, what does that tell us? Are women addictive than drugs? Last week before the rally the radios addressed women ‘boo don’t go with men you don’t know that was Kamene Goro, she likes pampering women with ‘boo boo’, the whole week she booed ‘go take yourself, learn how to say no to men’ bla bla.. photo courtes y () Nobody told me
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